Let’s be honest—self-care has been marketed to us. Bubble baths, luxury face masks, expensive retreats… It’s easy to think that taking care of ourselves means spending money we don’t have on things we don’t need.

But here’s the thing: Radical self-care is not self-indulgence.

It’s not just spa days and treating yourself to that overpriced latte (though, no judgment—you deserve nice things). It’s about setting boundaries, listening to your body, and meeting your needs without feeling like you have to “earn” rest.

So, how do we tell the difference between real, meaningful self-care and temporary indulgence? Let’s examine it.

Radical Self-Care: The Deep Work That Sustains You

Radical self-care is not about escaping your life but building a life that doesn’t require constant escape.

It’s the kind of care that doesn’t always look “fun” or Instagram-worthy but keeps you healthy, whole, and functioning. It includes:

• Making time for your passions. Engage regularly in activities that fuel your creativity and interests. Neuroscience research shows that pursuing passions activates the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine and serotonin. This not only enhances mood but also improves cognitive function and resilience. A study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that people who regularly engage in passionate activities report higher levels of psychological well-being and life satisfaction.
• Nurturing meaningful connections. Prioritize spending quality time with loved ones and fostering deep relationships. Social neuroscience has demonstrated that strong social bonds are crucial for mental and physical health. Positive social interactions trigger the release of oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone,” which reduces stress and anxiety. According to a landmark study in Science, the quality of our social relationships is one of the strongest predictors of overall happiness and longevity.
• Prioritizing rest without guilt. Sleep isn’t a luxury—it’s fuel. Your body isn’t failing you when it’s tired; it’s asking for what it needs.
• Saying no and setting boundaries, protecting your time and energy, is self-care. Overcommitting and people-pleasing? That’s self-sabotage.
• Fueling your body with nourishment, not punishment. Eating well isn’t about “earning” your meals or obsessing over calories—it’s about giving your body what it needs to thrive. If you feel unwell, take a week to try slowly introducing brain foods (or fuel) to your diet.
• Moving your body for strength, not for shrinkage. Exercise should feel like something that supports your well-being, not something you “have to do” to make up for what you ate.
• Tuning into your emotions instead of numbing them. Self-care means processing your feelings, not just avoiding them with distractions or quick fixes.

Radical self-care is sustainable. It helps you avoid burnout and makes you feel like you’re living in your body, not just dragging it along for the ride.

Self-Indulgence: The Temporary Fix That Feels Good (But Doesn’t Last)

Now, let’s be clear—indulgence isn’t bad. Treating yourself is great! The problem comes when we confuse short-term comfort with long-term care.

Self-indulgence is often about immediate relief—that dopamine hit from retail therapy, that extra glass of wine, that endless scrolling to avoid dealing with something real. It can look like:

• Emotional eating instead of eating to nourish
• Binge-watching TV to escape rather than to recharge
• Spending money to feel in control when life feels overwhelming
• Overindulging in things that leave you feeling worse instead of better

Again, none of these things are inherently evil. The key question to ask yourself is:

➡ Is this serving me in the long run, or just numbing me in the moment?

Balancing Both Without the Guilt Trip

The truth is, we need both self-care and indulgence, but we have to be mindful of why we choose one over the other.

✔ Treat yourself to something just because it brings you joy? Go for it.

✔ Skip a workout one day because you need the rest? Listen to your body.

✔ Say no to plans because your mental health requires quiet? That’s self-respect.

But if you find yourself constantly looking for quick fixes that don’t actually support your well-being, it might be time to explore what real self-care means to you.

You don’t need to “earn” rest. You don’t need to justify taking care of yourself. The goal isn’t to escape your life—it’s to build a life where you don’t need to escape.

That’s radical self-care.

Now, drink some water, set that boundary, and care for yourself like you deserve. 💛